Bob Uecker was known for his dry humor, and his sayings became known as “Ueckerisms.”
Bob Uecker spent six seasons in the major leagues as a backup catcher with the Milwaukee Braves, St. Louis Cardinals, Philadelphia Phillies, and Atlanta Braves. Although he saw limited playing time, he was a member of the St. Louis Cardinals team that won the 1964 World Series.
As Uecker famously joked: “People don’t know this, but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it!”
His quick wit, self-deprecating humor, and impeccable timing eventually turned him into a national celebrity. He appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson about 100 times, earning the nickname “Mr. Baseball” along the way.
No one was better at making fun of Bob Uecker than Bob Uecker himself. Here are 15 of his classic one-liners.
On the modest signing bonus he received from the Milwaukee Braves: “I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn’t have that kinda’ money to put out.”
On his early days as an “actor”: “I was acting when I was playing baseball.”
On the proper way to catch a knuckleball: “How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up.”
On the records he set but hoped no one would remember: “I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don’t even get printed.”
From his famous scene in MAJOR LEAGUE (photo courtesy OnMilwaukee)
On slumps that seemed never-ending: “I had slumps that lasted into the winter.”
On realizing his career was over: “I knew when my career was over. In 1965, my baseball card came out with no picture.”
On the strangest honor he received as a member of the Philadelphia Phillies: “I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.”
On being named Minor League Player of the Year: “You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year … unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.”
On the third-base coach’s lack of confidence in him: “When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.”
On coming to the plate in a crucial situation: “When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team’s dugout, and they were already in street clothes.”
On ordering new bats from Louisville Slugger: “I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame-treated bats. But when I got them, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes.”
Uecker on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson (photo courtesy NY Times)
On attending old-timers games: “Baseball hasn’t forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games, and I haven’t lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.”
On the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson: After a guest appearance on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Ed McMahon wasn’t aware that Uecker played baseball: “After my interview with Johnny Carson ended, I heard him ask Ed McMahon, ‘Did that guy really play baseball?’”
Was he still playing baseball? Inducted into the Hall of Fame as a broadcaster in 2003, the MLB writers speculated Uecker was still playing baseball. Uecker asked what took so long to enshrine him in Cooperstown: “When I asked MLB writers why they haven’t selected me for the Hall of Fame, they said they thought I was still playing.”
Career highlights? Trying to relive and relish his career highlights. It wasn’t too hard to remember them either. “Career highlights? I had two. I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax, and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.”
