Danny Moves is making a move to get into THE BIG WEDDING of the year. Will Taylor and Travis say ok?
Dear Taylor & Travis:
Moves here, Danny Moves. I don’t know either of you personally, but I feel like I do. You don’t know me, at least not yet, but you should.
Photo courtesy Sports Illustrated
I’m the proud creator of the Danny Hurley Head Butt Dance. Yes, it has been trademarked. My dream is to make it bigger than Michael Jackson’s Thriller routine.
Can you imagine a Head Butt flash mob? Anyway, I’d love to see everyone do it at your wedding. We could do a 1,000-person conga, a massive hora, and then climax with one huge headbutt.
Of course, I would demonstrate, so it’s done just right. You need to move your head just the right way so you avoid a headache. Anyway, I look forward to hearing from your team.
But while I have you, I want to get something off my chest. I know we swung for the fences with Madison Square Garden, but why stop there? Why so small? Wasn’t MetLife available? Second thought, why couldn’t we do it at Woodstock or something and invite the world? Wasn’t the state of Rhode Island available?
If I’m being honest, this whole thing should be a streaming special, with all proceeds going to charity. We could have a month of television coverage, seriously. Your marriage could cure world hunger or at least part of it – and everyone at home could head butt right along with in-person attendees!
Sorry, head-butting is always on my mind. And if you wanted, we could invite Blake Lively, and someone could headbutt her! That was a joke, maybe a bad one.
Let’s Butt (photo courtesy Atomic Ballroom)
Hey, I’m a dance dude, not a joke guy. If you invited Mike Grabel, I insist that you not take any of his advice, particularly about marriage.
Last thing, regarding snacks, I’m sure you have that more than covered, but I don’t eat animals, and I like my cake sugar-free and without flour, so please see what your people can do.
As a dancer, my figure is a constant concern. By the way, you don’t need a great physique to headbutt. However, long hair creates a nice effect when the head is thrust forward.
Anyway, we’ll talk more in person at the Garden. Just have your team contact my team, which, to be honest, is just moi. But I have to change that soon because, well, I’m making moves.
Lots of Love,
Danny Moves
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Jon Hart is the author of Unfortunately, I was available, the undeserved sequel to Man versus Ball: One Ordinary Guy and His Extraordinary Sports Adventures.
