Danny Moves has granted The Sports Column permission to publish his Instagram post.
Dear U.S. Soccer:
Moves here. Danny. If you haven’t heard of me already, you will soon. It’s just a matter of time. I’m the creator of the “The Danny Hurley Head Butt” dance.
I’m hoping that it will become way bigger than Michael Jackson’s Thriller routine. It’s catching on, slowly, and I’m overjoyed to report that the University of Connecticut is supportive, well, kind of. They haven’t hit me with a cease and desist, yet.
Anyway, usually, as you might suspect, I have dance fever. But since the World Cup came to North America, I’m all in on futbol. Of course, I was disappointed to see the U.S. completely collapse against Belgium. I’m what you would call a “casual fan” – when I hear “clean sheet,” I think laundry – but it was obvious that they were on a completely different level.
By the way, did you see the Belgium players imitating our president’s dancing? Personally, I think they could use some tips from yours truly.
But, seriously, I want to make it perfectly clear: Dancing can play a crucial role for a team. Just look at Norway. When their team and the fans “row” in unison to the beat of their drum, it’s absolutely magical. The USMNT needs that vibe, sooner rather than later. Why don’t we have a drum? Can’t we afford one good drum?! Unfortunately, we’re chasing Norway.
So let me throw this out there: Imagine the sight of a stadium full of Hurley head butters! We could sell mannequin heads and fans could shake those too. This could be a huge earner.
OK, I know what you might be thinking: Don’t you need to be bald to do the Hurley head butt? The answer is absolutely not. Baldness is not required to the Hurley Head Butt. I think we can take the world by storm at the next Cup. Just one question: Where is it?
I look forward to meeting and showing you my moves. I know that we can go far, but we must move together.
Sincerely,
Danny Moves
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Jon Hart is the author of Unfortunately, I was available, the undeserved sequel to Man versus Ball: One Ordinary Guy and His Extraordinary Sports Adventures.
