This was posted on Danny Moves’ Instagram site. With his permission, we’ve reprinted it here.
You probably haven’t heard of me, so let me introduce myself. My name is Danny Moves, a professional dance instructor-innovator. My latest venture is turning the Danny Hurley head butt into the next Thriller. It’s catching on, slowly, and it’s trademarked!
Marty (found on Reddit)
Anyway, yes, I got a ticket to Game 4 of the NBA Finals – for free, kind of. This is how it went down.
I recently moved to a new neighborhood. It’s great. However, I thought it was strange that I never met my new neighbors, not one, until about a week ago. Marty (no last name here, if you know what I mean) was immaculately dressed in all white. His shoes said money.
At first, I wasn’t going to answer because I figured he was going to complain about I-don’t-know-what. But I think he heard me perfecting my Hurley head butt pivot, so I bit the bullet. Thank God I did.
Marty was amazing. After the pleasantries, he gave me the offer that no one would refuse.
“Do you want the ticket to Game 4?” Marty asked.
“What?” I answered. “A ticket to the watch party?”
“No, silly, the actual game.”
“How much?” I replied.
“Nothing. Absolutely, nothing.”
“I can’t accept a ticket for nothing.”
“You can take me to lunch.”
“A ticket is worth so much more than lunch.”
“Well, take me to dinner and do me another favor sometime, OK?”
“Sure, sounds great. I’d love to do you a favor.”
We exchanged contact info. I was ecstatic, even though. I forgot to tell him about the Hurley headbutt dance.
I had a ticket to Game 4!!!
A few hours later, Marty’s name popped up on my phone.
“May I take you to dinner?” I opened with. .
“My cousin is visiting,” said Marty.
“Great! Three’s not a crowd.”
“I’m in a bit of a pickle,” he paused.
“Pickle?” I asked.
“She needs a place to stay.”
“What about a hotel in town?”
“She can’t, and she can’t stay with me. It’s complicated.
She’s very nice, and she’s also a wonderful chef. It’s one night.”
Was this the favor? I still hadn’t received my ticket, but I would. Marty was my new friend!
“I have a guest room,” I said finally. “It’s lovely.” It is.
“Are you sure?”
(I wasn’t.) “Absolutely!”
“You’re a peach, Danny. I’ll let them know to come right over.”
Them?
Immediately, I was in a panic. I had to prepare. I keep my place immaculate, but I’m in the closet.
Oh, well, here goes: I’ll admit it: I’m a Nets fan. I don’t tell anyone, especially now that so many people are pretending to be Knicks fans. And I certainly couldn’t let a new friend find out. I had to get rid of the Nets gear ASAP. Where would no one find it? I put everything, including my vintage Jason Kidd jersey, into a plastic bag and dug a hole.
Marty’s cousin, Marge, was super friendly, a real doll, just like Marty promised. She hugged me within the first ten seconds of meeting, which was weird, but she smelled nice, so I let it go.
“I need to get my stuff from the car,” she said after a few moments.
“Can I help?”
“Would you?”
“Of course.”
“I also brought my kids.”
Did I hear correctly? Had I missed something with Marty? Are they all going to stay in the guest room?
Marge with Mighty and Mouse (photo, Kive)
Marge handed me one suitcase … then another … then another. I carried them into the house. I didn’t see any kids. Maybe they went for a walk. A moment later, Marge entered the house holding a rectangular box covered by a blanket.
“Where are the kids?” I asked.
“They’re right here,” she replied, pulling off the blanket.
They were C A T S !!
“Meet Mighty and Mouse,” said Marge.
I was overjoyed that those kids weren’t kids, but then I became anxious. Cats and I have a bad history.
“What can I make you for dinner, Danny?” Marge asked, wandering towards the kitchen.
‘ “I don’t know.” I didn’t know anything (suddenly, I was dizzy). I was hoping it was momentary.
Dinner smelled delicious, and it was as good as the aroma.
After I set up Marge, Mighty, and Mouse in the guest room, I told them about the Hurley headbutt dance. We – Mighty and Mouse too – even did a few moves. But then it hit. I started to sneeze – and I couldn’t stop, even when I went to my room. I wound up in my car.
. . . . It has been a few days, and it’s not so bad. I don’t know when Marge, Mighty, and Mouse will leave. And I can’t ask because, well, they know my secret. I forgot my Nets bobblehead collection in my guest room closet. They swore they won’t tell anyone, but you never know.
Anyway, after a day and a half of wondering if Marty had pulled one over on me, I got a knock on my car window.
Marge handed me an actual Game 4 ticket!
I eat, live, and breathe Nets, but, hey, the Finals are the Finals. Now the only big question is what will happen to my home?
(Hey, there will be a Game 6 in the Garden, you know, next Tuesday night. Marty! . . . .)
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Jon Hart is the author of Unfortunately, I was available, the sequel to Man versus Ball: One Ordinary Guy and His Extraordinary Sports Adventures.
