Kevin’s Last Email, A Lesson To Us All

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Kevin Gaghan died this week, but his email is still on my computer screen–not tucked away in a folder or deposited in the trash. Later on, I’ll tell you why.


Kevin Gaghan’s last email to me arrived nine days ago. It came following a brief text exchange in which he admitted that his health was deteriorating because of COVID-19. Before I write about what was in that email, let me tell you about Kevin Gaghan.

Fortunately for me, Kevin wrestled for the Bishop Ireton teams that I coached in the early 1970s. He was a good wrestler, too, placing high in every tournament he entered. Opponents may have scored more points in a match against Kevin, but none of them defeated him. One match, in particular, is still remembered by his teammates, the opponent, and me.

Bishop McNamara was the visiting team for an afternoon dual meet. It promised to be an exciting contest between two all-boys Catholic schools, both members of the athletic Metro League in Washington, DC. Ireton was favored to win, but McNamara had several good wrestlers, sod that’s why several matches were especially anticipated.

One of those was Kevin’s match against another wrestler who was also named Kevin. Our Kevin took control and had a comfortable, but not large, lead. Then Kevin twisted an ankle and was in considerable pain. Injured as he was, Kevin told me he wanted to continue the match. “No forfeit!” was his answer.

So two scrappy wrestlers continued their match as the McNamara coach screamed for his charge to “Grab the ankle! Grab the ankle!

To his credit, McNamara’s Kevin never touched that injured ankle. After the dual meet, he told me that he did not want to beat our Kevin, which he did, by taking advantage of an injured ankle. His response–and our Kevin’s persistence in the face of adversity–shows character and a commitment to sportsmanship.

As an adult, Kevin Gaghan’s character was on display as he built a successful business. He married and shared life with his wife and two sons. Kevin was also a caring benefactor to a wide assortment of schools, hospitals, individuals, and programs. Kevin’s philanthropy included a high school wrestling program that I coached after retiring and another wrestling program in response to my request for his support.

The last time I saw Kevin was when he stopped to see my wife and me during a road trip to visit siblings. An older brother lives in the same town as us. Kevin came by to share a fine afternoon before leaving to visit another brother in a more distant location. “Just tooling around to see everybody,” he said.

It’s one of the things that I  admired about Kevin. He always took the time to visit, talk, and share time with loved ones.

But back to Kevin’s last email to sixteen of us. His words are italicized below.

Kevin Gaghan Thu, Apr 7, 3:37 PM: The power of words!!  If you like music after seeing the video, click on the YouTube link of the tenors singing halleluha  (or however it is spelled)

(NOTE: “The Palindrome Video” A palindrome reads the same backward as forward. This video reads the exact opposite backward as forward.  Not only does it read the opposite, but the meaning is also the exact opposite.)

I don’t know if Kevin knew this would be his last email. But what I know is this. In his match against the McNamara wrestler, young Kevin showed us what a wrestler should aspire to be. And a few days before his death, through that email, Kevin Gaghan shared a message that shows us what we should aspire to be. That is his lifelong lesson to us all.

About Roger Barbee

Roger Barbee is a retired educator living in Virginia with wife Mary Ann and their cats and hounds. His writing can also be found at “Southern Intersections” at https://rogerbarbeewrites.com/



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Comments (3)

    Molly wrote (04/19/22 - 8:32:49PM)

    Thank you so much for sharing this story.

    Deb wrote (04/24/22 - 9:16:43PM)

    Thank you for this sweet tribute to a very good man. He is a long-time friend and will be greatly missed.

    Steve Henderson wrote (04/27/22 - 7:55:37AM)

    Roger,
    Thanks for sharing this. I remember Kevin well and am saddened by his loss.
    Hope all is well with you .
    Steve Henderson BI class of 73