‘If Rappers Were on Sports Teams,’ The Team Banquet

,

We open at the big baseball team banquet. Coach Pajama is getting ready to give out awards, but first, our cast of rappers are eating.


Pajama: OK, we got through the season without things getting crazy. Thank goodness, because State was crazy. Now let’s get to what you guys are eating. {Turns to 6ix9ine and NLE Choppa.} 6ix9ine and Choppa, what are you guys eating?

Choppa: Some pasta!

6ix9ine: No, we aren’t.

Choppa: Kool-Aid pickles.

6ix9ine: No, we aren’t. We’re just having some steak.

Pajama: OK. {Turns to Tay-K and Soulja Boy.} Tay-K and Soulja, what are you guys eating?

Soulja: Eaaaaaat?! Eaaaaaaaat?!

Tay-K: We gon be eating good noodles every day.

Pajama: OK. Do you want anything to wash it down with?

Tay-K: Lipton.

Pajama: No. {Turns to Scarlxrd, Trippie Redd, and Lil Pump.} Now Redd, Scar, and Pump. What are you guys eating?

Scar: We’re eating pork, sir!

Redd: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Pump: Essskeeetit!

Pajama: OK. {Turns to Roddy Ricch and Justin Bieber.} Now the last two people, Roddy and Justin. Don’t tell me. You’re eating that yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.

Justin: Yeah.

Roddy: Ditto.

Pajama: With that, let’s get to awards. The first award is the Participant award. Everyone gets that. The next award is MVP, which goes to Roddy Ricch.

{Roddy accepts the award.}

Pajama: Most Improved goes to Trippie Redd!

{Redd accepts the honor.}

Pajama: The winner of the Fit award is a tie between Lil Pump and Scarlxrd!

{Pump and Scar accept their trophies.}

Pajama: The last award goes to Justin!

{Justin accepts his honor as Tay-K looks in disgust.}

Tay-K: Why didn’t I get an award?!

Justin: Baby, baby, baby, oh!

Tay-K: {Pulls out his gun.} This thooka is my wand.

Pajama: {Notices.} Justin, Tay-K is not the guy you want to mess with. He’s the reason that Rug-Rats High is transferring their students over here, now. {Notices Justin is calm.} Wait. You’re not worried?!

Justin: If you know females, then you know they like to run their mouths.

Pajama:{Shocked.} Whoa! Justin just served Tay-K. {Turns to Tay-K.} Tay-K, are you going to let Justin Bieber say that about you?!

Tay-K: Tay-K fairly odd.

Pajama: Oh man. This is just how the team banquets work?! I wonder what the cheer team will really have in store?

______

Who should be the cheerleaders? Nominate in Comments.

About Kadin McElwain

I was born in Kingston, New York, the second child of Monika Keiper and Matthew McElwain. At age two, I was diagnosed with autism, and I’m currently undergoing therapy to help me have a good life. I have multiple interests, including music and writing. I started writing seriously at the age of 13 by writing poems on Allpoetry.com, earning a nomination for Best Teen Poet. In high school, I went on to write scripts, articles, and stories. Now in college, my ultimate goal is to make the world a better place.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CAPTCHA