I’m at the starting line of a three-day marathon assignment and, frankly, I’m not sure I’m going to make it.
I’m cocky. I rake in stacks of dough. I’m a hedge fund Bro at a high-stakes poker tournament. Nah, it’s all pretend! The real story is that I’m a member of Todd Krakow’s crew on Billions. Krakow is a character played by actor Danny Strong. Yes, the name Krakow has the disturbing ring of a concentration camp.
Unfortunately, my call time was 5:30 am. Fortunately, Holding is centrally located at the Copa Cabana nightclub in midtown Manhattan. I might be disturbed, but I’m punctual. I’m the very first Background actor (or extra) to report. Know this: There are no medals for Background.
Inside Holding, a drab, dimly lit, massive room with long rectangular tables, the air conditioning is on full tilt. It’s frigid, which would be ordinarily wonderful, but I’m in summer attire. I’m at the starting line of this three-day marathon assignment and, frankly, I’m not sure I’m going to make it.
Wardrobe rejects my high-end Cardigan but accepts my oversized black blazer, which I drown in. I’m pleased. I’ll be reasonably comfortable in my loose suit for three straight days. My feet, however, will be sore. My shoes, my mail-order Rockports, are flat out painful. At least, I don’t have to wear heels.
Photo from Facebook courtesy Memezar
Alas, after much waiting, we arrive on set, the Edison Ballroom, located in the Edison Hotel, just after 8 am. We’re shooting backward, starting with the culmination of the poker tournament. Krakow is pitted against Bobby Axelrod, played by Damian Lewis. Danny Strong seems like a genuinely awesome guy. “How’s it going, guys?” he says in a friendly manner before taking his seat at the poker table. In television and film production, extras are forbidden from addressing principals, but principals may engage with background.
I’m a few feet away when Krakow wins his hand. He jubilantly high-fives his crew, but I’m not close enough for skin, which is fine by me. I’m not in the mood to be on television. I’m also not thrilled with some of the Background actors that Casting has dredged up from the bowels of civilization.
Specifically, there are two members of the Krakow crew, LL Cool J and Adrian Grenier – yes, my pet names – whom I find to be particularly annoying. With smarmy attitudes, they fake smiles and act Bro-like as if we’re on Entourage. Like so many others, I enjoyed Entourage for a while, but then it got stale and then just wrong.
A Production Assistant (PA) places a Hannah Jeter lookalike in our circle. I’m close enough to count the layers of foundation on her face, but I don’t pay her much attention. She probably already gets too much of that. As directed, I stroll across the room and hand Grenier a drink.
During a break, one of my fellow extras, a dark-haired man with a ponytail – think a young Deniro – is ready to brawl. A PA bumped into him, knocked his drink out of his hand, and then proceeded to disrespect him. “I’m not apologizing to fuckin’ background,” the PA reportedly said.
Young Deniro is fuming and wants to take some sort of action, perhaps physical. In his baggy khakis and oversized T-shirt, gripping a walkie-talkie, the PA in question moves through the crowded ballroom with a swagger, as if he’s an officer and we’re mere peasants.
Somehow, I pacify Young Deniro. “It’s not worth it,” I tell him. He listens to me. Look, I’m not asking for a Nobel Peace Prize, but I did something positive by stopping a huge negative.
However, I’m not completely innocent. Internally, I’m weighing the pros and cons of breaking the PA’s skateboard in half. He’s arrogant.
After a forgettable lunch, a friendly PA scolds us. He informs us that our performance was OK as far as not talking on set, far from perfect. We got “the bronze,” he tells us. He wants to see if we can take home “the gold.” In all honesty, I had absolutely no idea that we, being over 200 extras, were misbehaving. I wasn’t. Later, we get an email from Casting ordering us to shape up or else.
Photo from YouTube courtesy AceBlind
As I digest and wait, Billions pulls a maneuver that would make master of the universe Bobby Axelrod proud. They dismiss the union extras, replacing them with a fresh wave of union extras. Why? Billions doesn’t want to pay union overtime, which is double time after ten hours. It’s cheaper to bring in fresh union bodies. Non-union, which I am at this moment in time, gets time and a half after ten hours. A secondary benefit of replacing the union extras is that Billions will get some new faces, so there’s less chance that the audience will see the same individuals repeatedly.
In the second portion of “the day,” production shoots the poker match between Krakow, who is coached by Maggie Siff’s character, and the actress Asia Kate Dillon. AKD is very cool. She spent quality time chatting to Background at the snacks table. Billions seems to do a ton of takes. I don’t do much but fill up space. In reality, I’m no poker bro, and I’m having a tough time figuring out what is happening in the scene. I’m on a need-to-know basis, and I know that I must stand here and pretend to be riveted.
After the match, Ms. Siff walks past me in a defeated manner. I’m defeated too. I’ve been standing around, silently, for 15 hours in my horrible shoes.
Sometime after 11 pm, yes, an 18-hour day, we’re wrapped. If the day goes a second over 16 hours, union Background gets Golden Hour, which is an additional day’s pay. Yes, this was a tough one. And of course, there are two more days to go.
Part 2 of “My Hellish Billions Poker Marathon” coming soon.
_______________
Jon Hart is the author of Unfortunately, I was available, the undeserved sequel to Man versus Ball: One Ordinary Guy and His Extraordinary Sports Adventures.
