You had the world watching, but within five minutes of that sorry Halftime Show, you turned off the world.
Dear FIFA World Cup 2026:
Moves here, Danny. I’m the creator/inventor of the Danny Hurley Head Butt dance. It’s gonna be bigger than the Michael Jackson Thriller routine – eventually.
You need me, and I need you, to help make that happen.
I’m talking about your sad Halftime Show. Less is more! You crammed way too much into 11 minutes, and lost your audience.
Did we really need Ted Lasso? I would have been very good with just one or even one and a half of the acts. Have our attention spans become so limited that it has come to that mosh pit of a show? And by the way, a fitting song title for that show would have been: Let’s Check All The Boxes! If that’s what you wanted, goal accomplished.
Butting Away (photo courtesy Atomic Ballroom)
I enjoyed Shakira, but in all honesty, some of her, uh, provocative dance moves canceled a few boxes, if you know what I mean. By the way, the Head Butt dance is G-rated.
In truth, you don’t need any stars for the half-time show. You could just bring back all or even some of the players, besides the finalists of course, and they could lead a stadium sing-along, as well as a massive Norwegian-style row.
It would be way more authentic and capture what you’re going for. Of course, I could also lead a mass Head Butt. Can we arrange for Shakira and Madonna to join me in leading it? I’m on the move, making moves, but my line is open. We must start preparing now. The Euros are just two years away, right?
Sincerely,
Danny Moves
_____________
Jon Hart is the author of Unfortunately, I was available, the undeserved sequel to Man versus Ball: One Ordinary Guy and His Extraordinary Sports Adventures.
