We move to Part 2 of the story….
Photo courtesy Jamie on Golf
At the tee, the eldest member of our crew talks smack. He’s chomping on a cigar, boasting that he just endured open-heart surgery two months earlier. On the very first hole, my guy hits one well off the fairway, but I don’t know where exactly.
Unfortunately, my vision isn’t the best, and I have no experience in tracking golf balls. I attempt to play the part and scour the weeds. Meanwhile, Michael walks off into the trees – way off the course. I’m not sure that ball went that far awry, but who is this amateur to say anything? Just as I’m about to surrender my search, I find a ball, perhaps even the right ball. “It’s here!” I yell excitedly to my guy and Michael, who’s far off in the trees.
“That’s a good caddy!” yells Michael, excited, his back to me as he leans slightly over. (Michael wasn’t searching for the ball after all. He was relieving himself.)
With his own caddy, Putty, a slender, bespectacled New Zealander, Michael seems to have an excellent repartee. As they walk, Michael plays reporter, asking Putty what it’s like to caddy the U.S. Open. For Putty, it was nothing short of rapturous. As we walk, we’re brought back to the previous day. We’re walking in Bethesda, surrounded by fans, whose energy carries us from hole to hole. I need as much inspiration as possible.
These clubs aren’t light!
Photo courtesy The Caddy Network
Early on, I carried my player’s clubs with their handle. The bag has straps, but they’re somewhat elaborate, and I don’t want to ask my guy how to operate them. I always seem to have trouble with straps, whether on shoulder pads or on a golf bag.
Fortunately, my guy offers a few strap-related tips, and I place the bags around my back like a backpack, which makes the walk a heck of a lot easier. Not surprisingly, my group of amateurs plays awfully slow. I’m busy carrying the bag and following balls that land far from the center of the fairway.
“Blame it on the caddy!” Michael quips when anyone hits a bad shot – and there are a lot of bad shots, so there’s a lot of blame coming my way. We don’t have to worry about just our balls. On one of the early holes, Open Heart jerks awkwardly. “Fore!” I hear someone yell faintly.
A split second later, a ball lands five yards away from Open Heart, who has brought along a cart because of his precarious heart condition, and me. Often, Open Heart forgets his cart, so he constantly has to walk back to retrieve it.
Ultimately, he’s doing about as much walking with the cart as he would without. Michael is ecstatic that Open Heart has the cart. As much as possible, he hitches a ride, standing on the back. Michael must be exhausted. He just played four of the most intense, not to mention successful, rounds of his life. Also, he’s traveling the tour with his wife and eight-month-old, whom he has a picture of on his bag.
Part 3 is coming soon….
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Jon Hart is the author of Unfortunately, I was available, the undeserved sequel to Man versus Ball: One Ordinary Guy and His Extraordinary Sports Adventures.
