Discovered on a UConn message board.…
Danny Moves™ here. I specialize in teaching college coaches how to dance so they can better relate to players and, ultimately, win more games. My lessons will save lots of NIL funds. I’m worth it, trust me.
But, unfortunately, business has been slow recently. It has nothing to do with my skills or expertise. Everyone’s just busy with the portal.
That said, I’m not staying on the sidelines. After watching the NCAA Men’s Championship a few weeks ago, I decided to pivot to a project that really moves me: “The Danny Hurley Headbutt Dance,” AKA The Headbutt.
Know that I’m providing private lessons online or in person. We’ll go through the five basic moves: folded arms, raised arms, twirl, collision, and the pièce de résistance, the headbutt! We’ll tap into every dance form imaginable, from ballroom to punk rock. We’ll also practice facial expressions such as anxiety, anticipation, disbelief, joy, and (finally, yes) insanity.
At first, my dream was to get everyone in Connecticut headbutting. But why stop there? Let’s get the entire country involved, even the world, which is my ultimate dream.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The Headbutt, although registered with the U.S. government ®, is dangerous if not performed properly. That’s why training is essential. Even with my training, you participate at risk. (My name, Danny Moves, is trademarked (™). I accept no liability whatsoever.)
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Jon Hart is the author of Unfortunately, I was available, the sequel to Man versus Ball: One Ordinary Guy and His Extraordinary Sports Adventures.
The next newest popular dance craze!