On Wednesday’s Love is Blind’s “reunion,” we’ll learn which couples are still together. Bri, the self-described plain girl from Michigan, and Connor, the self-described blue-collar dude, never made it to the altar on the show, but it’s rumored that they’re still together. We’ll see.
Connor and Bri of “Love is Blind” (photo courtesy Elite Daily)
On the show, they didn’t seem like a good fit at all. Bri, an outspoken University of Michigan alum, was repeatedly condescending to the devoted Connor and made fun of, well, his entire existence.
She also seemed to tolerate a fellow male cast member, the toxic Pilates lunatic Chris, for far too long during a cast meet-up at a bar.
As far as the University of Michigan and attending games at the Big House, Bri was downright reverential. The Killers’ Mr. Brightside is played and sung along to at the end of the third quarter at Wolverine home games.
It was even played on the show, which, no, is not cheap.
“Mr Brightside”
Coming out of my cage, and I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta, gotta be down, because I want it all
It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep, and she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke and she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed, and my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head, but she’s touching his
Chest, now, he takes off her
Dress now, let me go
And I just can’t look, it’s killing me
They’re taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes, ’cause I’m Mr. Brightside
I’m coming out of my cage, and I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta, gotta be down, because I want it all
It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I’m falling asleep, and she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke and she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed, and my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head, but she’s touching his
Chest, now, he takes off her
Dress now, let me go
‘Cause I just can’t look, it’s killing me
They’re taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes, ’cause I’m Mr. Brightside
I never…
I never…
I never…
I never…
Written by Dave Brent Keuning, Mark August Stoermer, Ronnie Jr. Vannucci, and Brandon Flowers, lyrics from AZ Lyrics
In Bri’s honor, I’ve written a song, well, at least the lyrics. It’s set to the music of Mr. Brightside.
“Ms. Plain Michigan Gal”
I’m just a plain gal from Michigan
But the world’s gonna follow me
It all started in the Pods
How’d I not end up with Chris
We were talking through a wall
I would’ve sworn he was tall
Connor’s shack has no lock
Why’d Chris neg me and not give me the rock
Connor has got an empty keg and an old Christmas tree
Chris wants to dominate me.
Who will love me more
Either way, I’ll score
Pre-Chorus
Plain gal from Michigan
Chris thinks I’m smokin’.
I treat him like shit, but Connor’s still snake bit
Whatever happens, I’m still a hit
Chorus
Love is Blind drama
Unlike nice guys, wolverines never finish last.
Should I nab an Andrew Tate dude, like fast
Lighten up. A streaming engagement isn’t real
Bro, they barely pay for your meals
The show’s wrapped, but I’m the real deal
‘Cause I’m Ms. Plain Michigan Gal.
___________
Jon Hart is the author of Unfortunately, I was available.
