The upcoming World Cup promises to be the best ever.
President Trump is so sporty that he’s even getting excited about soccer, claiming he’s a very good athlete who’d look good in shorts, and that his son is tall enough to be a good goalie.
President Trump and FIFA President Infantino (photo courtesy Politico)
Trump recently hosted FIFA President Infantino (soccer’s world governing body) in the Oval Office to announce the drawing (bracketing) of the 48 teams who qualified for the tournament. It will take place on December 5 at the Kennedy Center (perhaps the Trump-Kennedy Center by then), with the month-long tournament being hosted primarily in U.S. cities (with a token scattering in Canada and Mexico) during the summer of 2026.
Perhaps there’s a bit of soccer hyperbole, but some say that every match day will foment as much excitement as a Super Bowl. I just hope the commentary is polished and professional, for it’s a shame to have to mute the TV and miss the crowd’s ambiance, as has to be done with so many EPL matches.
Perhaps someday, AI-Vision will coalesce seamlessly with AI-Conversational technologies to replace some of the blabbering soccer analysts. Unfortunately, they are not high on the list of jobs subject to AI-inspired elimination.
Here are some other suggestions:
Shirt Removals: Given their relative rarity (at least between competitive teams), it’s very exciting to score a goal in soccer, especially at the World Cup. It’s simply human nature to celebrate, perhaps even taking one’s shirt off and twirling it around overhead. That should not be discouraged – they just achieved something that may be assumed sporting folklore back home. If their underneath vest garment proclaims a political message that they unfurl directly in front of the camera, then penalize away (though, in a sense, it may be in keeping with the “taking the knee” remonstrations, and therefore a double standard). Other than that, removing one’s shirt after scoring seems to be in our human DNA, for whatever good that does for our survival, I couldn’t figure out, but there it is. Anyway, it’s not taunting, it’s just unbridled joy that a goal was actually scored, bless the Lord. FIFA (soccer’s World governing body) should advise WC refs to stop penalizing goal scorers by issuing a yellow card for simply being human.
Photo courtesy the Associated Press
Front of the Net: To score a goal, the ball has to cross the goal line between the posts and beneath the crossbar. It needn’t touch the net, though it usually bulges noticeably. But it is not the back of the net the ball hits; instead, it smashes into the front of it. Nevertheless, commentators always say the ball hit the “back” of the net when reporting a goal. Actually, if it did that, it would likely be because of a misdirected shot that ricochets off the stadium billboards behind the goal.
Armball: When the ball hits a player — or he hits it – below the shoulder and down to his fingertips, it may be considered a punishable “handball.” However, few handball offenses are genuinely caused by waywardly waving hands. Instead, most occur when a player thrusts his whole swinging appendage toward the ball, usually with the intent to block it. Usually, it’s an “armball,” not a handball, so don’t be lazy commentators.
Referees: As for cards, it’s time to start showing those to pompous referees who think the crowds are there to see them. Using AI tools, the FIFA website should enumerate a referee’s performance, including how it may affect potential assignments. Green for good; yellow for caution; red for go home, “you’re not fit to referee.” Performance generally improves when measured, and the public should see this contemporaneously, thanks to advances in AI.
Cheerleaders: Let’s face it: for many who haven’t had the privilege of playing competitive soccer, it may seem a tad dull. At least for matches involving the U.S., one way to inject more excitement is by introducing a parade of lovely American female cheerleaders. In addition to their shapely pom-poms, they could be wearing frilly uniforms that empower their femininity, including, if they please, flaunting their natural assets while doing backflips, and whatnot. Perhaps we could lighten up a bit — it’s not stereotypical or sexist to admire their female power while we’re waiting for a rare goal to be scored. It’s their choice to don the uniform, which may empower them. These days, there are plenty of stops and starts in soccer, including injuries, substitutions, and Video Assistant Referee (VAR) consultations. That gives plenty of time for the lovelies to strut their stuff without distracting from the action.
Courtesy Facebook
Taking the Knee: I hope President Trump prevails on FIFA to stop this undignified absurdity. This tiresome practice involves players genuflecting on one knee for several seconds just before kickoff. Stop it already; it has lost its meaning. Infuriating anticipatory crowds (from around the world) with this unsightly remonstration won’t assuage overzealous fans if players underperform on the pitch. The first year after George Floyd’s death was enough self-emasculating (as in weakening) contrition; now it’s just going through woke motions to virtue signal. As an aside, there are many very talented black players gracing the national teams of many countries—especially in open societies like the U.S., England, and France. Deservedly, they are respected and well paid
President Trump’s Winning Celebrations: When Trump recently attended the Club World Cup soccer final, some were aghast that he joined the winning team in the trophy-lifting festivities. W.C. organizers might be well advised to make provisions for him to immerse himself in the joy with whomever wins. I wouldn’t put it past him.
The upcoming World Cup promises to be the best ever. I hope I can keep the volume up on my TV remote to capture the rapture.
